How we met

One month after Coy had gotten a job as a software engineer at Texas Memory Systems, Shao-ling noticed his ICQ profile in an random person list provided by ICQ. She thought he looked like a nice guy, so she sent him a message “Hello :)”. Due to the time difference Coy had been in bed for several hours already, but saw the message in the morning. Normally he would ignore messages sent from random people, but he decided to try talking. It might be interesting talking to somebody from Taiwan after all. So Coy responded with a simple “hello” back (several hours later), but sent it using his AIM name instead of ICQ. So our first conversation was a bit awkward, as she responded “Hello 🙂 But, who is this??” Coy tried to explain that she was the one who said hello first, but just confused her by accidentally responding with a different account. We had a brief conversation but enjoyed talking with each other. We began to email each other every day. She spoke about how she wanted to come to the USA to become a better English speaker, and we made plans to meet each other when she would arrive the next year. After a couple of months we knew that she wouldn’t be able to carry through with her plan for several reasons, so instead Coy decided he would visit her instead. Coy had never really been out of the country before, so it was a pretty big step for him. He never really planned to leave the US even for a small vacation. After a short 4 day visit in October (2006) Coy went back home to Texas. We again made plans for Shao-ling to visit Coy in the US, but she was forbidden by her parents. So Coy once again made plans to visit her in Taiwan the next year when he had built up more vacation time. Coy saw Shao-ling for the second time in February 2007 for Chinese new year. Again we had a great time, but it was only for one week again. Again we made plans for Shao-Ling to visit Coy in Houston, and this time her parents agreed, as long as her sister could also go with her. So six months later Shao-ling and her sister went to the American Institute in Taiwan (AIT) for their visa interviews. However none of us actually knew what the purpose of the interview really was, and they came completely unprepared. The consulates asked for them to provide their proof of strong ties to Taiwan, but of course had nothing to produce. So they were both denied tourist visas. We were both very shocked, disappointed, and angry. But there was really nothing to do. Applying again would cost even more money and they might still be denied. So Coy once again booked tickets for the 2008 Chinese new year. Again Coy stayed in Taiwan with Shao-ling for one week. Each time we had to part kept getting more difficult. Luckily Coy had now worked as TMS long enough he could have two weeks of vacation so in September he returned once again to Taiwan. This time he asked Shao-ling’s father if he could have his blessing to marry Shao-ling. We hadn’t really discussed it at this point, but Coy thought it would be his only chance to ask Shao-ling’s father before the next time he came to Taiwan. Shao-ling’s father told Coy that he believed we needed to spend more time with each other in person. Because knowing somebody in person, and knowing them online are different things. So we made plans to have Shao-ling come to the USA as a student to study English. It would give us a chance to spend time in person, and would provide a good opportunity for her. Even if there was a chance we would decide not to get married, she could return and help grow her father’s company into new markets. So this time we carefully prepared for the interview. She was approved to go to a Houston university, she had all the proper documents in order. When she went to the interview, the consulate accused her of being a liar, and denied her a student visa, on the basis that she had been denied a tourist visa the year before. Coy was extremely angry and called the American Institute in Taiwan, and cursed as some poor lady on the telephone line, and angrily hung up when she put him on hold. Only in America is it so hard to get into the country legally, and so easy to get in illegally. After consoling each other Coy knew the only option that was left was for him to move to Taiwan. His parents desperately tried to talk him out of it, but he was left with no other alternatives. Coy agreed to wait until May 2009 when his nephew was born before making a final decision. In the meantime he made preparations for his now annual ritual of visiting Taiwan during Chinese new year. This time however he had prepared a special plan for Shao-ling. On January 30th, Coy proposed to Shao-ling after a romantic dinner, and she said yes! Coy’s mind was 100% made up as he returned to the USA that he would move to Taiwan. In May, Coy’s nephew Cadence was born, and Coy told his parents he still planned to move to Taiwan. And he began making his plans. The first step was to decide on a solid date. So he decided on January 13th, 2010. It would be the weekend after his birthday, and his great-grandmother’s birthday. Coy also started taking classes to become an English teacher in Taiwan, because getting a programming job seemed unlikely.  In October, Coy turned in his letter of resignation, and explained to his boss at TMS why he was quitting, and then he booked his ticket to Taiwan. A week later Coy was offered a job at a small software company, through Shao-ling’s aunt, who was financial consultant for the company.  He accepted the job and started the process of applying for the needed work permits and resident visa. In December 2009, Coy finally had all the documents he needed, and and after celebrating Christmas with his family and saying his goodbyes, he departed for Taiwan.  Coy lived in XinDian city just south of Taipei and visited Shaoling as often as he could, until they were married later that year.

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